How to Make Your Home a Place of Refuge

Creating a home of Busyless can start with one corner of your home. Having a designated place of refuge for daily rest will help with the new habit of your desire to stop being too busy. It will be a reminder of your commitment to the obedience of God’s rest that He has for you. 

The hardest part comes later

The hardest part about starting a new habit is to keep doing the new habit until it becomes a part of our life. You can read about it, make up your mind to do it, maybe do it for a short time, and then you still may return to the old habits. Even though you made up your mind, actually did it for a while, if you didn’t complete it, it didn’t really grow inside, becoming a part of who you are. Pride is strong and can claim to have only needed it for a short season. How can you get a new habit to grow until it’s ingrained? 

For true success, rest!

It starts with “resting”, which is the opposite of what we want to do in order to succeed. But it’s essential. Resting, trusting, listening, waiting, and moving only when we are sure it’s God showing us to move-that is resting (trusting) in God’s timing. Yet, it’s one of the hardest things to do. When things don’t happen in our concept of when it should happen, we lose patience and take the bull by the horns and do it ourselves, even to the point of resorting to manipulation. We screwed up again. The habit of rest can only be learned by obedience.

A mysterious scripture about a habit

One scripture that shows us something about how a habit can grow faith is a scripture I have puzzled about. It a verse in Hebrews that talks about Jesus learning obedience. Why would Jesus need to learn obedience? If Jesus is God, then he would already know. 

Even though Jesus was God’s Son, he learned obedience from the things he suffered. – Heb 5:8 NLT

 Here’s what Strong’s Concordance says about “learned”:

to learn, be apprised

  1. to increase one’s knowledge, to be increased in knowledge
  2. to hear, be informed
  3. to learn by use and practice
    1. to be in the habit of, accustomed to

Even though Jesus knew obedience, because He is God, he had to “learn by use and practice”. 

Obedience is for learning

How can that be? It’s hard to wrap our head around it…..unless we, too,  have experienced learning through obedience. Obedience that is “in the habit of”. That kind of “learning” can’t really be described in words and it can’t really be taught. It has to be learned by the experience. God is the only One who can complete the transformation.

We have to learn God’s will by obedience.

Acknowledgment is not enough. We have to experience it by ongoing obedience. It becomes the birthplace of our faith. Faith springing up from obedience produces abundant fruit.

God doesn’t say, “Look. Here’s the roadmap to your life. I’m showing you how it’s going to go so you can make up your mind to obey.” Nope. If Jesus learned by obedience, then there’s a reason why we also must “learn by obedience” too. It’s God’s plan, a mystery that can only be “learned” by obedience. Then, obedience becomes experience and experience will grow faith. Faith sparks memories and more courage to obey again. 

Obedience precedes understanding. 

Walking it out is the hardest part

If you made the decision to stop being too busy, actually stopping can be hard. Walking out that decision to become busyless can be the hardest part of your transition. Remember, “learning” obedience can only come when you continue to trust God in the new habit. Striving will become less and less, a sense of trust and rest will increase. But, it won’t happen unless you “learn obedience”. 

Becoming Busyless is about intentional obedience to the amazing invitation Jesus gives us: 

Then Jesus said, “Come to me, all of you who are weary and carry heavy burdens, and I will give you rest. – Mat 11:28 NLT

Creating a home of Busyless must come by obedience-not an obedience that is based on guilt, shame, or a sense of failure. Jesus was not guilty, did nothing to acquire shame, and was not a failure. Yet, he learned by obedience. It’s a type of “sowing” of trust and faith into our hearts by God. Our part is surrender, yielding to the hand reached out to us that says, “Come and rest.” 

Read the series on how to stop being too busy. Go to the lifestyle tab or you can start here.

Your kids need busyless too

This new habit can be something to teach your children. Instilling this sense of rest by example and routine into your children is part of the great promise that, when they are old, they will return. 

Start children off on the way they should go, and even when they are old they will not turn from it. – Pro 22:6 NIV

They will remember

Grown kids will remember the stability found in the rest that can only be found by trusting in Jesus throughout their daily lives. They will know, deep down, that the striving they will most likely enter into(because we all want to do things our way)  does not “feel right”. They will want to return to whatever that was that they remember deep in their hearts. 

Something you can do right away is to designate your busyless spot. 

Practical ways to creating a busyless area: 

You won’t need a large budget. A simple change in the arrangement of some furniture or the addition of a small chest or corner desk may be all you need. Here are some ideas for a refuge corner. 

  1. Claim one seat of your couch as a refuge spot. Cost: $0
  2. Add a small chest for your Bible and devotionals next to an easy chair. Cost: very little if you buy from a thrift store. Sometimes, Outlet stores have good deals on these things too 
  3. Create a corner in a bedroom, using the same setup. A chair, a lamp, and a stand or chest. Cost: Can be a bit more expensive if you have to buy everything. But, you don’t need everything at once if your budget does not allow it. A stack of books on the floor is fine! You could even add an inexpensive clamp-style lamp to your chair. My bedroom “refuge” is simply a clamp-style lamp on the headboard of the bed.  
Family refuge rules

I recommend that you don’t use anything electronic during your “refuge” time. There are many studies that show the fact that electronic devices can cause us to be overstimulated which interferes with “rest”. Instead, read a book, work on a hobby or craft, or simply invite someone to join you and have meaningful conversations. Try to stay in “real time”.

It’s a little weird, but that place designated to “rest” will cause you to want to expand what you learned in that corner into other places in your home. And then another and then another, until your whole home can be drenched in a sense of peace and rest. I know it’s repeating this but the only way that can happen is through “learning by obedience”. “Learning” can only happen if you actually experience it. You can only experience it by continuing to be obedient. 

An outdoor oasis

You can easily convert and outdoor space into an area of refuge, even if it’s a balcony or that size area. Start with one chair. If you have more space, create an entire outdoor room that invites others to join you in being busyless. Adding a rug or a couple of pillows may be all you need to make it more inviting. 

example of transforming an outdoor space into a family refuge.
Porch Refuge
Once you start creating places of refuge, you will want to spend more and more time there. 
A few more places to create into a refuge:
  • Front porch
  • Back yard patio
  • Garden
  • “Claim” a bench in the park and go there regularly
backyard refuge
Backyard Refuge

Your kitchen can also be a place of refuge in your home but that will take a whole ‘nother post! 

Start your journey toward busyless today! Turn your desire into reality, one obedience at a time.


“But seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these things will be provided for you.Mat 6:33 CSB


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1 thought on “How to Make Your Home a Place of Refuge”

  1. This post is a really good reminder that in order to grow, we need a time to recharge. Setting up that area in your house that is “yours”. An area of refuge. We need rest in different forms to live our best.

    The idea of obedience in your article sounds a lot like having the discipline within yourself to create habits that you want to keep. It takes obedience and discipline to be successful with developing habits and what we work at pays of in the long run. Thanks for the insightful article!

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